Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Public Sex - Warning and Advice

A buddy of mine was just arrested for propositioning a cop in a public bathroom.  It was in an out of the way bathroom in a downtown hotel known (in the right circles) for sexual opportunities.  I've never been a fan of such meetings for two reasons:  (1) given I like to butt-fuck, it's usually hard to get that done in a public bathroom where people can come and go with little notice and (2) I don't want to get arrested.  However, after some discussions with my buddy, and others familiar with this scene, I thought I give a warning and some advice.

Warning:

Having sex in public places is notoriously risky.  It is illegal, and far easier for cops to prosecute than you may think.  First, sexual contact is not necessary to be arrested.  If the cop can make a case that you were soliciting sex, he can arrest you even without sexual contact.  Remember Larry Craig getting arrested in an airport.  The arrest was based on toe-tapping and a hand being visible under a stall.  Craig (doubtless an asshole whom I am not defending) never touched the cop's crotch or anything like that.  Second, sex where it can be seen by members of the public can get you in trouble, even if you think you have privacy.  For example, getting blown in a car parked on the street (or in a secluded area of a park) can get you in trouble if the cop can see you getting it from a legal vantage point.

Advice:

I have compiled some advice from those in the know about avoiding arrest.  Nothing eliminates all risk (especially if the cop is a gay-hater willing to lie about the sequence of events, etc.).  So, use this advice at your own risk.

(1) At a minimum, allow the other guy to make the first sexual move.  Cops will not generally touch you sexually.  [First, the ones willing to do this shitty work are almost surely straight, and don't want to touch a guy's privates.  Second, if the cop is wrong about the other guy's intentions, it could be sexual assault, or even if the other guy is looking for sex, it may be entrapment.]  Bottom line, if you are standing in the bathroom, and a guy rubs your cock, he is probably not a cop.  (On the other hand, cops are very willing to smile, wink, rub themselves, etc., to try and get you to make a move and get arrested.  Don't fall for it!)  A smile, small talk, etc., is not going to be enough to support an arrest.  So, keep it to that, until he moves sexually on you.

(2)  Suggest going to a walk. If you're in a park restroom, suggest a walk in the woods.  Chances are a cop is not going to leave his equipment, backup, etc., to take a walk with you  Not a guarantee but a good indication.

(3)  Don't be stupid.  If you're 50, fat, and balding, and there is a hot 30-something, clean-cut and built, seemingly inviting you to touch him, get a clue.  It's a cop.

Rationales for Taking the Risk:

So, as I mentioned, this is not my thing.  When I ask my buds, why do this, they respond with two lines of explanation.  First, it opens up a whole new type of guy to play with.  While hotel guys are usually white-collar professionals, the park guys are a mix of blue-collar, ethnic, and professional guys.  Almost always macho, mixes of ages and interests.  Second, guys also love the absence of drama or red tape.  It's quick and easy.  A smile, a rub of a crotch, and you are off to the races.  No exchanging pictures, long chats, wondering if the guy will show up, etc.  Still not worth it as far as I'm concerned, but to each his own.